How to be an authority in society. Who is a leader

A person, regardless of his character and even his abilities, wants to be respected. If you are wondering how to become an authority, then at the moment you are not one. But there is no need to worry. Leadership qualities are not something given to a person from above, they are skills that need to be developed. How? Read about it below.

Boost your self-esteem

A person who wants to be respected in society must first begin to respect himself. Only a person with good self-esteem can do this. How to increase it? Stop criticizing yourself. Have you made a mistake? There is no need to torment yourself with thoughts that you have made a mistake again. Admit your failure, draw conclusions from it and try not to repeat it again.

How to become an authority? Stop looking with adoration at everyone who is higher than you on the social ladder. Understand a simple thing: bosses are people too. You should not kowtow to them, but communicate as equals. Don't be afraid to express your opinion in front of important people. Understand your individuality and uniqueness. Then people will be able to see in you what was previously hidden.

Become the life of the party

How to become an authority? You need to attract the attention of the society in which you are located. The easiest way to do this is when you are the life of the party. In this case, you will immediately rise in the eyes of others. They will consult you and listen to your opinion. But this will only happen if you leave your comfort zone and start working on yourself. Make more jokes, don't be afraid to seem funny or stupid. Show off yourself, attract attention. Preferably some kind of memorable image. For example, you can choose the style of a smart but groovy intellectual. But it’s still better not to play some role, but to be yourself. Every person is unique and interesting. You just need to find your strengths and flaunt them. But weaknesses should be veiled and not demonstrated in public.

Don't be afraid to take responsibility

What do you call a person who can take full responsibility in case of trouble? Leader or authority. How to become like this? You must not be afraid to take responsibility. It doesn’t matter whether you are directly involved in the activity or have an indirect connection to the business. A person must be responsible for every action taken. If a person wants to lead others, then he needs to learn to be responsible not only for his own, but also for the mistakes of others. It's difficult to get used to this. Not everyone can accept that they must answer for the actions of their friend, who did his part of the work in bad faith. Why is authority to blame? The person had to motivate a group of people to achieve results. If there is no result, it means that the commander was unable to properly motivate people.

Be proactive

Don't sit idly by. Organizational skills are not a talent, but a skill. The more you organize meetings, concerts, gatherings, the better you will do. So when someone comes up with a good topic, support it and think about how it can be implemented. Take care of all the hassle regarding the organizational part. Having held several events, you will establish social connections, and it will no longer be a problem for you to agree with the owner of the establishment about holding various events. Don't limit yourself to one platform. Find several places where you can organize events well.

In addition to the fact that you should support other people's initiatives, you should not forget to put forward your own. Generate good ideas that will help you gain popularity and add credibility.

Listen to others

Organizational skills can be developed by a person who is attentive to the opinions of other people. If you know how to listen to others, you can understand what your friends and family want. It's easier to earn respect if you pay attention to each person's opinion. You don’t need to indulge people, but you need to be able to understand them. You won't be able to please everyone, so don't even try. But you can benefit individuals. But only if you pay attention to what people say. Nobody says anything just like that. When a person opens his mouth, he is trying to convey some thought to his interlocutor. Even in an ordinary friendly dialogue you can learn a lot about a person. You can use this knowledge in the future to earn respect from the group of people with whom you communicate.

Give compliments

People love to listen to pleasant reviews about themselves, both to their face and behind their back. If someone does something good for you, be sure to thank them. But only sincerely. There is no need to flatter a person. Pretending will not help you become an authority. But respect for other people will help you achieve a lot. Do you want to engage in self-development and self-improvement? Where to begin? Stop gossiping about people and stop listening to them. When someone says something bad about a person in front of you, tactfully interrupt and say that you have a different opinion about him. Give an example from your own life or tell a story you heard from friends. Such kind words behind your back will help you morally rise above those around you. Always follow this rule and never deviate from it, then you can quickly become an authority.

Treat everyone equally well

A person must understand that all people are good. Even those you don't like deserve respect. How can you treat well a person who behaves rudely? If you don't know where to start with self-development and self-improvement, start by accepting the idea that a happy and healthy person will never be rude or try to harm others in any way. Only a deeply unhappy person is capable of such a base act. How can you judge someone who has something going wrong in their life? Never judge a person without knowing all the circumstances. Respond to boorish behavior with kindness and respect. The person will become ashamed of his behavior and realize that he is wrong. Only that person who knows how to keep face in any situation can become an authority.

Set goals and achieve them

A person earns authority not by his words, but by his actions. If you want people to respect you, then you must prove to them that you are worthy of such respect. Set goals for yourself and then achieve them. Make promises and always keep them. If you give your word to someone, then fulfill your intention, no matter what the cost. Be punctual and scrupulous. Remember, authority is always ahead of the crowd, which means any awkward movement will be subject to criticism. This doesn't mean you aren't allowed to make mistakes. This means that you must carefully evaluate each step you take and not commit rash actions.

Know how to admit mistakes

How to earn authority? A person who takes responsibility not only for himself, but also for other people, will make mistakes. You need to learn to recognize them. Don't shift responsibility for failure to third parties. Such behavior is unworthy of a leader. Dare to face troubles in the face. Every mistake is a chance to improve. If you learn a lesson from every failure, you can quickly gain the respect of your colleagues.

The authority of parents in the family should also be based on accepting mistakes. Adults should not be gods for a child. You don’t need to prove to your child that you know everything and can do everything. Be honest with your child. If you made a mistake, admit it honestly. In order not to lose your authority, you need not to fall into the same rake twice.

I would like to give in to temptation and start allowing them everything. “Are you too tired to sit down for homework? Don’t worry, I’ll talk to the teacher.” “You only want the second one? Okay, I’ll put the soup in the refrigerator.” “Are you embarrassed to say hello to your neighbor? Oh well, another time."

Probably, very soon I would be accused of letting everything take its course and the children. And I would start waving a Donald Winnicott book and justify myself by saying that “I am in a special condition that is very reminiscent of an illness, but at the same time completely normal.”

Oh, how grateful I am to this man who realized that immediately after the birth of a child, a mother goes crazy (which is quite natural) and begins to identify herself with her baby: “this allows her to see everything through his eyes and respond to all his needs with precision , which no automaton can master - and which is impossible to learn.”

And everything would be fine if the madness of the first days did not give such long-term complications. Already today, when that time full of fears and uncertainty has long passed, it declares itself with attacks of guilt at the sight of reproach in children's eyes...

Yes, I just wanted to go visit! But no: I begin to seem to myself like a traitor who arranges, cancels the meeting, stops forbidding them anything at all, which involuntarily strengthens them in the feeling of that very childish omnipotence, which Winnicott called the logical consequence of our child-worship.

Unattainable Hardness

If you're going to educate someone, the problem is that you can't give in. But everyone is only capable of what they are capable of. My mother, for example, always said: if children are frolicking, then everything is fine with them. And I can only admit that I lash out at them much more often than my husband.

But it’s easy to understand me! Just imagine this wonderful picture: just a second ago they were touchingly kissing me (my beloved mother) before bed, and once in the nursery, they instantly turned into monsters. One is jumping at the bottom of a two-story bed, the second is hanging from the top floor and hitting the bottom one with a typewriter, and the third is laughing and throwing pillows. The whole house is shaking with screams and squeals...

So, having achieved silence, I, torn between the desire to love and the need to educate, fall into a chair and open Julia Gippenreiter’s “Communicate with a child. How?" . I read: “Rules, that is, restrictions, requirements and prohibitions, must be in the life of every child.

Children not only need order and rules of behavior, they want and expect them. This makes their life understandable and predictable, and creates a sense of security.” And here it is especially for me: “This is especially useful to remember for those parents who strive to upset their children as little as possible and avoid conflicts with them. As a result, they begin to follow the lead of their own child.”

Be consistent, confident, reasonable in your parenting decisions... However, I have something to object to: since I spend too much time with them, it is difficult for me to be both the one who gives and the one who refuses.

Family psychotherapist Inna Khamitova supports me in this: “A child really needs both: love and acceptance, on the one hand, an organizing principle, on the other. If children, for example, are raised by one mother, she has to take on both of these tasks.”

From the point of view of psychoanalysis, the father is assigned an even more subtle mission: not to allow the mother to merge with the children into a single whole. Not to forbid them to be together and love each other, but to strengthen them in the idea that a child is not a continuation of the mother, but a separate, full-fledged being that must grow up and one day leave.

Big slap

When Ilya was born (then we had Kirill), I really thought that I would never raise my voice to him. Everything was perfect until, at the age of one and a half years, Ilya started slapping me on the cheeks - in the literal sense of the word. He was having fun, and I was crying.

This continued until my husband saw this disgrace. He already had a son (Vanya - from his first marriage), and he calmly used “legitimate authority”: he made comments, and sometimes - oh horror! - sent my baby to the corner. Then it was easier for me to accuse him of cruelty than to gain the courage to set the boundaries of what was permitted in my relationship with my son.

It’s good that by the time the youngest, Kirill, was one and a half years old, I had already accumulated some experience. Education, in my opinion, truly begins at this time. Until then, you have to focus mainly on the health of the children and try to ensure that their rhythm of life gradually ceases to subjugate everything else.

Life really gets complicated when they start walking (and running), and then talking - what are these eternal “whys”, “I don’t want” and “I won’t” worth? “As soon as a child begins to move actively, we seriously think about his safety,” comments Inna Khamitova. - We remove everything fragile, close sockets, block drawers... And these are the first restrictions.

Then we begin to potty him - we teach him to cultural norms. And the older the child, the more boundaries and frames there are. In essence, they all fall into two groups: do not do what is dangerous for you, and do not do what is harmful to others. Everything else is possible, and here it’s better not to limit him, otherwise we slow down his cognitive activity.”

Movement by touch

Yes, that's true - our freedom ends where another person's freedom begins. I spent a lot of time explaining to Kirill that he can’t do whatever he wants (for example, hitting another kid in the sandbox with a shovel, taking away toys, running into the road), and trying to teach him to replace animal forms of behavior (banging his head on the ground, throwing toys ...) human.

The problem is that Kirill is my youngest, and I’m unlikely to dare to give birth to another one... So I take him in my arms, even when I have to walk twenty meters, I give in if he whines and begs for a toy... The only thing I’m sure I can do is What I can do is be polite and friendly when I insist on something (and this must be done).

I don’t just ask you to “say it in words,” but I ask you to say “please” (“paa-lu-sta”) and “thank you” (“see-bo”). I make sure that we have a good, calm relationship; I want him to take into account the needs and emotions of the other; I try so that, looking at me, he learns to give in, take others into account and respect the rules.

And when he has a hard time doing what he needs to do—like picking up our toys in the sandbox before heading home—we do it together.

We and our children are equal, but not equal: we have more rights and more responsibilities to them than they have to us.

But let's return to Ilya - my first-born (the second oldest in our family). When he was just born, I sincerely sympathized with my neighbors in the maternity hospital: they didn’t get such a wonderful child! And it was with him that I messed up the most: while I admired his genius, I believed that I shouldn’t interfere with it with some absurd rules (“Do you want to wear a T-shirt inside out? What a creative approach!”).

Then I began to feel guilty for giving him a little brother. And she allowed him to behave like a little boy... There’s absolutely nothing to be proud of here, but it’s true: I was nervous and didn’t know what to grab onto.

Now Ilya is six years old, he can read and write. He is interested in insects and plants. The question that worries me most now is how to combine the desire to teach him everything in the world and his real inclinations? Is education about coercion or motivation?

“The eternal question is what is better: permissiveness - for a child to grow up creative, free, but not knowing boundaries, or strict boundaries and rules,” says Inna Khamitova. - Both are bad. And we, parents, are forced to walk along a thin bridge that separates one from the other.

Education is always associated with coercion. Because we still force children to do things they don't want to do. Although, of course, it is more pleasant to live according to the principle of pleasure. But that’s called being spoiled.”

Eternal parents

Vanya, my stepson, is ten now. When we met him, he was very young, and it was with him that I went through my baptism of fire. He taught me a lot, precisely because I was not the one who carried him and gave birth to him. This is what allowed me to find out what my parental role could be in its purest form, without the harmful admixture of maternal intoxication.

But a new challenge awaits me when the family is hit by the storm of adolescence. “Parents and children are equal, but not equal: we have more rights and more responsibilities to them than they have to us,” explains Inna Khamitova. - However, relationships change over time: the closer puberty is, the more equal they should become.

After all, it is assumed that when the child turns 18–20 years old, we will turn into friends, into two adults dear to each other. Therefore, as he grows up, we need to become different parents.” So, first I have to find the courage to change and be ready to withstand everything that my growing children will present to me.

Do not leave them to be torn apart by their own confusion. Just be there. Our task is not to protect them from life, but to bring them into this world. And decide to leave them there.

Watch a video about how to be an authority figure for your child:

Who is a leader?

Many people like to brag about their leadership position in society, talking about their own authority in some circles. Often, they try to emphasize their authority with arrogance, a serious expression on their face and the abuse of a raised tone at the time of their slightest dissatisfaction. Such a self-proclaimed leader cannot arouse much sympathy, forcing others to take into account his character for the reason that somewhere out there he is a great authority. This is a prime example of a typical loser whose ambitions cannot and do not want to succeed. They like the idea of leadership, but they do not possess those necessary qualities that distinguish a person from the crowd - make a leader out of a person.

How to gain leadership?

Of course, leaders are not born, they are made. In order to become an authority in society, you must have a strong character and be a self-organized person. Anyone who is unable to organize himself will not be able to organize society. In addition to determination, people are attracted to the common sense that a leader possesses. His honesty and self-confidence are a strength and an advantage that attracts public sympathy.

The success of a leader lies not only in adventurism and out-of-the-box thinking, but also in a clear and organized sequence of actions. He breaks his main goals into subgoals, and by acting in accordance with this plan, the leader achieves success. An important feature of authority is the ability to build communications. A culture of communication and politeness is what lifts a person several steps above the rest. Society does not want to contribute to the ignorant, therefore the rules of good tone, control of one’s words and emotions allow the leader to move towards his goal. One of the main factors is nervousness. Neurosthenics are too susceptible to the “storm” that reigns in their heads during periods of failure or deviations from the plan. In a state of such nervousness, a person cannot make the right decision and command the respect of others with his shouts, complaints and hot-tempered insults. In addition, society trusts those who are able to take responsibility for their words and actions.

If you have all these qualities, over time you will be able to gain support in society. Accept yourself and the world as you are.

Authority is a delicate matter. A person who has respect has “benefits” for many things, for example, for mistakes. A person who does not have authority or does not use it has no right to make a mistake. Therefore, if the boss is a real authority for his subordinates, then he does not make mistakes at all. This is how authoritative management subjectively perceives staff. We ask ourselves: what should we do to be just such a boss?

Authority– a property (skill) of a person that determines his ability to influence the opinions, beliefs and behavior of people around him. The basis of authority is respect, veneration, and belief in the correctness of the actions of an authoritative person. If the level of authority is high, the influence is significant; if it is low, the influence is insignificant.

Supervisor- one who determines work for other people within the framework of the authority and competence given to him.

Authoritative leader– is respected, has the opportunity to influence the decisions, beliefs, opinions of others. Exercises control by combining administrative methods and the power of his authority.

After the definitions are given, it is right to talk about ways to increase authority.

1. Personal - creating a reasonable belief among subordinates in the positive and strong qualities of the leader’s personality. Such as:

Active leadership position. Remove words and expressions of victim from your vocabulary, for example: “I have to, I’m forced, it just so happened, I didn’t succeed...” Victims of circumstances are not authoritative. Monitor your speech, both written and spoken. Here is an example of a phrase: “the leader is always in an active position.” Everything is fine? If yes, then you are not quite a leader yet. Please note: “the leader is located.” Costs. What, someone put it there? Did he obediently obey? It can be formulated more precisely and strongly: “the leader puts himself in an active position.” From such seemingly trifles, a personal quality that enjoys authority is formed - the leadership of a manager.

Confidence. It develops and is perceived by others from the form of expressing one’s thoughts and business communication. Rules for confident communication. - Stop forgiving - start offering where such an opportunity exists. You can ask when you know in advance that the other person will gladly fulfill the request, otherwise why? If you offer, then it should be an offer that cannot be refused.
- Replace the word “need” with the word “want”, sometimes it is more correct - “demand”. The word “must” is impersonal and not specific. Compare: “we need to conclude more contracts” and “I demand that you conclude more contracts.” In the first case, “need” is a sign of uncertainty, in other words: “I’m sorry that I’m asking, it’s just necessary.” In the second case - a confident demand.
— Replacing a request with a statement. Requests in business communication are acceptable, but a confident person more often makes statements to feel the importance of what was said. For example: “could you please bring me the report?” and another option: “I need your report, please bring it.”
- Don’t look for approval, evaluate yourself. Limit your use of approval-seeking phrases. “You know what I mean?” or “that’s right, right?” - when you ask like that, you are in fact asking for approval. And an authoritative leader does not need this at all. You need to be confident in what you say.

Responsibility, discipline and dedication. They say about such leaders: “if you say something, it will definitely happen.” He promised - he did. He gave a task and asked for execution. I set a goal and got results. Authority increases with each confirmation of the correctness of the decision made and the achievement of the goal.

Emotional stability. A leader should not be subject to uncontrollable emotions; he must be able to tune himself to the task and easily create the atmosphere necessary for work around him. I will give you situations that are familiar to everyone. Morning, meeting. The boss screams, his face is red, distorted with righteous anger, he can hardly find words that replace the Russian language that everyone understands. Employees listen not because they like it, but because their salary depends on the manager. But response emotions are born inside, there are words that the inner voice pronounces without any censorship, since they will not be spoken out loud. As a result, negatively emotionally charged employees go to clients and splash out on them all the contents of their mental basement in the form of emotions. Clients are dissatisfied, they are outraged, so they emotionally convey their indignation at poor service to that same boss. Emotional stability is the quality of an authoritative leader.

External attributes of the position(demonstration of power).
- Nice office.
- Technical equipment.
— Availability of a company car.
— Limitation of visitors.
— Awards, diplomas, insignia.
— High material assessment of the person in this position.

Official powers of the manager– the amount of rights that is necessary for the successful management of subordinates. The higher the powers and the ability to use them, the higher the authority of the position, and, consequently, the leader. Here it should be noted that the presence of a “respected” position is not a sufficient condition for the authority of a leader, but only a necessary one.

Large amount of knowledge on all questions arising during the work.

Experience– acquired abilities, skills, abilities. The manager must have personal experience in solving professional problems.

Quick understanding of questions subordinates and the ability to respond to them correctly.

One of the key points in forming an opinion about the leader among subordinates is orders and instructions. Often, people form opinions on an emotional level, so effective management is not just about transferring information from a manager to a subordinate. This is a system of emotional, verbal, motivational influence that forms in people a belief about the authority of the boss and his competence.

Each order should be another step towards increasing authority.

Attracting the attention of a subordinate. Usually, in companies with a good corporate culture, a scheme for calling a subordinate to a manager has been worked out. This can be a call through a secretary, assistant, intercom, using a local local network, by telephone, etc. The main thing is that the subordinate has a clear understanding that he is called to the management at a certain time and place. This means that you need to take a break from current affairs and switch your attention to the upcoming communication with your manager. Most likely, attracting attention should be accompanied by calm, businesslike, firm intonations. In some cases, to highlight the significance of the upcoming conversation, emotions that convey seriousness, urgency, and the need for a meeting can be useful, for example, slight concern on the face, a quick voice, short phrases. Accordingly, these emotions can only make sense when a boss personally addresses a subordinate. If the call comes through a secretary, then direct emotional impact is impossible.

Demonstration of authority. Quickly orients the employee to comply with subordination and other corporate etiquette established in the organization, and, just in case, reminds him where he is and about his responsibilities. As a rule, the manager’s office and the environment in it testify to his capabilities and authority. A better and larger table, more chairs, etc. In addition, authority can be demonstrated through voice and emotions. For example, a friendly instruction: “come in - sit down” can be friendly in form, but in content it is an indication of a demonstration of authority. The one who gives the orders has the power.

Indication of the current form of behavior. For example, “write down what I will say” or “there is an important task, I will formulate it, and you listen, note what is not clear, then ask a question.” Emotions – business cooperation, care, interest.
General formulation of the problem. This is a statement of any facts, circumstances, events. Maybe telling an employee previously unknown information. The problem is presented in a businesslike, calm tone, if there are no special tasks to exert an emotional influence on the person. If you need to influence at this stage of giving orders, for example, to show the seriousness of the problem, then some dramatization of the transmitted information, accompanied by excitement, concern, and urgency, is possible.

Formulation of the problem. It is possible to solve a problem, but it is better to solve a problem, so a manager should set tasks, not problems, to his subordinates. The wording must be clear. What does the employee need to do in connection with the problem outlined? It is useful to speak about the task in a firm tone, expressing confidence in the possibility of solving it.

Specifying the task step by step. If the task is large, then it is correct to give instructions on what specific steps need to be taken to solve it.

Designation of the time allotted for solving a problem. There are people who are time-oriented; they clearly understand how many days, hours, minutes they will need for a certain job. Other people are process-oriented; they will solve a problem without considering how much time it takes. It may turn out that the result will not be needed, because it is too late. The manager’s task is to establish and agree on a time frame for solving the problem.

Warning about possible errors. The manager knows more, so it is better to immediately prevent possible obvious mistakes that a subordinate may make while performing the assigned task. It is better to talk about possible mistakes, showing care, attention and focusing not on the qualities of the subordinate, which can lead to these mistakes, but on certain objective circumstances, without taking into account which the task may become more complicated. This is important for two reasons: firstly, to optimize work, and secondly, to motivate the employee, since by speaking openly about possible difficulties, the manager shows, on the one hand, the complexity of the task, on the other hand, trust in the subordinate who can cope with all difficulties.

Motivation by benefits and/or possible negative consequences. In other words, what will the employee receive by following the order, or what will he lose if he fails to complete the task. It is important to accompany positive motivation with emotions of joy, success, pleasure, and to present negative consequences, accompanied by emotions of disappointment, regret, and sadness. Depending on the specific subordinate, you can limit yourself to only positive motivation, or only negative, since the manager must know what influences the employee more effectively.

Ending with a positive, “first step” motivation. When the subordinate understands the task, it is important to end the conversation on a positive note. This could be gratitude for cooperation, confidence that everything will work out in the best possible way, since the performer is an intelligent, professional, competent, and promising person. Emotional uplift, inspiration from communication, and confidence in success will be very appropriate. In conclusion, it is useful to ask what the subordinate will do first to achieve the task, approve this decision, and end the conversation with an emotional parting word: “Go ahead, everything will work out!”

In practical application, the sequence of giving effective orders by a leader to a subordinate can be changed depending on specific circumstances, for example, if the subordinate is highly motivated, then there is no need to spend a lot of effort on an additional positive attitude, everything is good in moderation.

Many leaders have difficulty formulating positive statements ( after all, - approx. TokaDoka). It turns out that the negative is born on its own, easily and simply, but reformulating it in the opposite direction can be difficult. Therefore, it is useful to master the rules for composing positive statements.

Speak in short, energetic sentences. They are better remembered as slogans. Energy gives them weight. Emotions of confidence, calm, significance make the phrase convincing.

Speak in present and future tense, all actions in speech should take place now, aimed at a successful and attractive future. The past tense directs attention to what has already passed. It is better to talk about what is and what will be.

Using positive language. Say what needs to be done, not what to avoid. For example, “you shouldn’t set unrealistic goals,” it’s better to say: “you need to set real goals.”

Use beautiful images, the words should be pleasant. Create attractive images. As in the film “12 Chairs” Ostap Bender painted a picture of the great chess city for the residents of “New Vasyuki”. But why can’t we also talk attractively about real projects?

Authority a manager in a rapidly changing modern world cannot earn money once and for all. You can use it for a while, but at the same time you need to constantly develop, learn, and confirm your right to be an authority in the eyes of your subordinates.

“He who does not go forward goes back: there is no standing position.” V.G. Belinsky

Pichugin V.G.

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Considering the diversity and unpredictability of women's preferences, among which a beer belly is sometimes associated with all the virtues of courage, acts as a mandatory requirement for a potential chosen one - the question posed in the title of the article can only be answered with the sarcasm of Niels Bohr, who recommended about too serious things - speak only jokingly.

In a word, if you are interested in abstract leadership, then rest assured: at least one pair of eyes has probably seen the best in you for a long time and with all the obsequiousness inherent in love.

Well, if your attention is absorbed by a specific person, then with pride for your involvement in the universality of the centuries-old and fruitless torment of humanity (some of its best representatives culminated in the creation of immortal works of art), we declare that we do not intend to deprive you of incentives for creativity.

And in order to help you pass the time that is still free from girlish adjustments, we, without wasting a single precious minute of it, with the best intentions, will unobtrusively try to extend it, without, however, shying away from answering the question “How to become an authority for a girl.”

First, let us present to your attention individual splashes of the fountain of male paradoxes that gushed in response to the laments of a hopelessly in love student, who appealed to the public with a request to tell them what it takes for a girl to not imagine life without a guy.

And here they are, excerpts from a hitherto unpublished volume of “Bad Advice” for adults (paraphrased without compromising the meaning and preserving the author’s style):

1) Sharpen your sense of humor, develop self-confidence and creativity, go to the gym, study well (but without fanaticism), become popular. Don’t miss parties and other “movements” of that kind. You also need “cat chicks” who will hang around you, “giving the impression that someone needs you.” Single guys are not interesting.

2) “Demonstrate” yourself as a person, which is fun, interesting, “unusual”, safe, etc. The best way. “Chicks” will notice this and begin to stick to you.

3) “...” (the remark with an overly frivolous appeal was omitted out of respect for the feelings of the Puritans).

4) “Adopt her” (taking into account the above, perhaps this will pass as the most reasonable advice).

For God's sake, take turns! And on topic please!

So, having difficulty understanding the polyphony of sobs about extinct knights and insults addressed to non-female creatures who have the audacity - unlike knights - to live well, the author dares to timidly assume the absence of any authority among girls other than themselves - they do not recognize a knight without armor for a knight, then ready to recognize everything that moves as a knight. Depending on the fluctuations in the levels of estrogen and testosterone in the blood, the mood of the song sounded in response to the question of the next fortune-telling, on the dominant shade in the aura, on the combination of stars, the intensity of solar flares and many other factors, alas, beyond control and logic.

Well... Once again, the irrational did not lend itself to rationalization, but we hope that at least Niels Bohr’s behest was fulfilled. All the best to you.

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